It's About To Get Testy In The Beehive...Howdy everyone. I know that it's been awhile since I've posted an entry. Instead of announcing that I'm going to end my blog like other folks do, I don't permanently abandon my blog. I just come back later when I feel like it. *lol* But seriously, I apologize for taking such a long break. But here is what's up. I don't blog as much anymore, because my employer is watching the online movements of its employees. They're all up in our business. In the words of Whitney Houston, "Didn't we almost have it all?" Shux, the blogging was the thing that kept me awake at work. So, I'll be blogging from home from now on. *shrug*
Now onto the beehive...For a while I've been talking about the set up on my job. In case you're new to my blog or need a refresher, I've been working for an office that refuses to promote me, but heavily depends on me to handle their tricky tasks. Last week, we began the beginning of a new evaluation period. So the somewhat new managers (my former line co-workers), called me in to let me know that my detail to another office would not be extended and that they will need me to return to their office (it aint mine) in January, because of the mountain of work they are handling. I'd really love to care, but I don't after 10 freaking years... *sigh*
Pay Back...This Time It's For Real....I just love that Ge.ic.o commercial....I just wanted to say that. Knowing fully well that my meeting was coming up really was a total drag last week. I haven't returned phonecalls and emails. I'm so ashamed. There's no way that the meeting could happen without some kind of drama. As I purchased my Christmas cards at the grocery store, I was thinking how this year's worth (actually 10 years) of mess on my job was wrecking my flow with the holdiay season. I'm just not in the mood this year, although I've made it my business to buy every piece of holiday candy and cookies I could get my hands on. But with the way things are going for me, the cookies are still sitting in the box for week 2. I thought I wanted them.
Leading up to the meeting, I just couldn't help feeling bad about the way that office has used me over the years. I've been through thick and thin with them. I've been there along the way with every supervisors' agendas, initiatives, and pet projects. I've been a project officer, web person, and policy writer to suit the work. But the noneducated folks with absolutely no experience-having folks have risen in my organization in such a ridiculous manner. Typically, they are the kissups. I'm not. I don't bring any coffee cake, and I don't inject side show clown laughter at jokes that aren't funny. I'm about the business and take on a more academic approach to my position.
Shut up, Already!!!...After being away from my division for most of the year, the new supervisors are practically groveling at my feet, which I find to be totally disgusting. They've finally come to the realization that I wrote a significant number of the formal/informal decisions and now need me to help their sinking Titanic of an office . But I've told them to not cry for me Argentina, because I've got other plans.
I must admit that I shamelessly manipulated last week's meeting. I determined when it started, what would be discussed, how long the meeting lasted, and when it ended. Passive/aggressiveness really does work. Try it sometime. I know they hated that crap. But hey, after 10 freaking years, I reserve the right to manuever things to my advantage. My strategy was to say very little. Besides, what can they tell me after all this time? Telling the truth would be too much like right for them. They promoted other folks according to favoritism and nepotism over the years at my expense, and now is a time of reckoning. The folks promoted over me haven't ever seen the inside of college classroom or spent time in anybody's army, but they were related to someone on the job. Oh, and did I fail to mention that they very rarely promote us (blacks, hispanics, asians)? Also, during the course of this year the managers allowed a co-worker to steal the reg text that I wrote last year. They (the backstabbing group and not I) received an award for the project, which included my work. I would not have ever known this fact if other people outside of my office hadn't made me aware of it. Oh well. So much for being used.
Mad.Max Zee Beyond ThunderDome...So, I ask again. What else could my supervisors say to me? Nothing. Yeah, they had two supervisors tagteaming/handling me like I was about to go off and catch a case of the angry black woman's disease. But I flipped the script. I stayed calm and measured my words very carefully. And I proceeded to deliver my message in 2 to 3 sentences, which caught them off guard. I think they probably had rehearsed how to handle me, but were thrown off by my stealth succinct strategy. They weren't going to catch me out here rambling. So they scrambled around trying to draw me into conversation to discuss every little thing that was done wrong to me. I declined. I simply stated that we're at a place and time where things have gone too far for too long and conversation at this point would be moot. Besides, I asked again what could they possibly have to say to me, which left them clearly struggling for several minutes while I looked on in steely silence. After growing tired of their hemming and hawing and failed attempts to take control of the meeting, I announced the end of the meeting. How you like me now? Then they announced that they were very disappointed that things would have to end this way. I tried to express an "I care" look. It didn't work. My transparent self couldn't seem to shake the scowl that's been plastered on my face for a couple of years. So I thanked them for their time, gathered my things, and left. Imagine a sister version of Mommie Dearest in the Pepsi Cola meeting scene. That was me. "It's not my first time at the rodeo show!!!..."
"Whew Times 10"....
That whole meeting performance left me drained. I could have gotten liquored up after that, but I remembered that I never drank. I don't even drink wine; got any recommendations? I wouldn't even know what to buy. So, I went home and had a refeshing cup of cola. With that whole fiasco over with, I'm at a point of deciding what I should do with my career. I'm totally making myself responsible for my own career moves. I will never be loyal like that to another organization again enough to always put their goals above and beyond mine. I've learned a huge lesson and gotten hurt in the process. But next year, I plan to start new and fresh. I'll have to learn to forgive and forget so that I can live my life more abundantly. I've applied to other jobs and I'm back into thinking about how to approach the grad school endeavor. I just talked a good game there. We''ll just have to see if I have what it takes to walk out on faith.
Well, I've got to run along to work now. But I'm going to try to post a few more entries before Christmas. Plus, I'm thinking about doing a blog redesign for next year. I just get tired of my blog looking like everyone elses. And I'm not even going to go into how much I'm not feeling this beta version of blogger. Blah!!!. Well, I'm off. Totally... *lol*
